This is the first of about 25 or so random tips to spice up your sex life!

Different books have different names for most of these techniques, so feel free to call it however you’d like

You’ll need: a menthol cough drop and 2 minutes of prep:

It’ll take you about two minutes of sucking on the cough drop for the menthol to permeate your mouth.  This is a good time to touch, caress, kiss, tease her to build the excitement. 

Slowly work your way down her chest, her stomach, around the vaginal area to her inner thighs.

When your mouth feels 100% minty start kissing closer and closer to her vaginal area.  You can do it however you like, but the idea to slowly get closer to her clit.  Start licking/teasing the entire vaginal area ignoring her clitfor a minute or two (or as long as she can bare it).  Then start focusing on her clit and use any of the techniques from Oral Sex 101 . 

As you touch her clit she will feel the heat of the menthol and as you remove your mouth/tongue she will feel coolness, and beg for your touch.   For extra effect you can blow gently every minute or so … this will make her feel a very pleasurable icy coolness.

As you’re pleasuring her, make sure to occasionally rub your tongue on the cough drop to maximize her menthol pleasure.

One thing to keep in mind is that even though most women will get tremendous enjoyment from the menthol coolness, it is possible that your partner might dislike it.  Watch her reaction the first two times you blow on her clit,  and if it’s obvious that she’s not enjoying it, don’t keep doing it.

Other then that, have fun, and don’t choke on the cough drop … that’s not sexy

I don’t know if there’s ever been anything more taboo in mainstream America than Anal Sex…

Though they can admit it anonymously, most people don’t feel comfortable talking about it to others, let alone educating themselves to maximize sexual pleasure.

Here are eight things people still don’t realize about anal sex:

1. Actual intercourse is the least common form of Anal sex.

The most common form of anal sex is touching.  Many people will touch their anal opening while masturbating,  or stimulate their partner’s during vaginal or oral sex.
Some enjoy the sensation of a finger,  others prefer a dildo or vibrator.  Performing oral sex on the anal opening is referred to as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people, but for others it is a huge turn on.

2. Anal sex differs greatly from Vaginal sex:

Many people assume that intercourse in the vagina and rectum are similar activities, but even though both have soft tissue lining; they are very different. 

• First and VERY IMPORTANTLY the rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina,
  • So Anal Sex ALWAYS requires lubricant.
  • Stick to water-based lubricants because they are compatible with latex.
• Also, Unlike the Vagina, the rectum is not straight.
  • After the short anal canal at first, the rectum tilts a few inches toward the front of the body before curving back. 
  • After a few more inches, it tilts toward the front of the body again.  
  • You can learn about the shape of your rectum by gently inserting a soft object (with a flared base), and trying different angles & positions as you concentrate on how it feels.

3. Anal stimulation is not painful when done properly:

With such a high concentration of nerve endings it’s no wonder that it can produce so much pain when done improperly, but it also shouldn’t surprise you that it is capable of producing a correlating amount of pleasure. 

When a finger, object, or penis is introduced inside the anus, the anal muscles go into a spasm as they try to fight off the intruder. Pain results if the partner doesn’t wait for the muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress the muscles will eventually collapse and the pain will subside, but this will not bring any pleasure to the passive partner.

In order to maximize anal pleasure, you need to eliminate all pain from the anal experience.  The passive partner shouldn’t be afraid to say,  ”no”, until they are ready to keep going. This readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, lots of anal touching, and desire.

4. Even if its always been uncomfortable in the past, you can still enjoy anal sex:

Just like, “really wanting to try it” doesn’t mean you’re going to have a good experience, if you had bad experiences in the past, it doesn’t meant that you can’t enjoy anal sex! 

The most common reason for discomfort during anal sex is anal tension.

Constipation and hemorrhoids are a typical sign of this condition, but are not the only indicators. You can decrease this tension by touching the anus (perhaps while taking a bath) in order to familiarize yourself with the sensations. 

• Tensing and letting go is a good way of learning to relax the muscle.  
• Deep breathing also affects anal muscles.

Most people will probably enjoy some form of anal stimulation.  For many women the turning point in anal sex is when they let their partner touch their anus agreeing not to attempt anal sex. This way she can concentrate completely on her pleasure.

5. There are actually two independent muscle rings surrounding the anal opening.

People who have never experimented think that there is only one, but If you insert a finger about a half an inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you will feel the two distinct muscles less than a quarter inch apart.

• The external muscle is controlled completely by you, meaning that you can tense and relax it however you want.
• The internal muscle, similar to breathing, is controlled by the involuntary part of the nervous system.
  • It responds directly to fear or anxiety during anal sex. It causes the anus to tense up automatically even if you try to relax.
  • Even if you feel comfortable, it’s still important to learn voluntary control over the internal muscle in order to relax it at will.
    • To do so, simply insert a finger daily (perhaps in the shower) and feel the internal muscle. 
      • It will change spontaneously in response to behavior.
    • Just noticing the sensation is more important than trying to relax… with time anyone can learn to control this muscle.

6. There are different kinds of pleasure that come from Anal Stimulation:

• PHYSICAL:
  • The anal opening has a very high concentration of nerve endings. A finger is a very effective tool to maximize their pleasure.
  • Beyond the anal opening (inside the rectum):
    • The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has some nerve endings.
    • The inner portion responds mostly to pressure. Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not signal impending bowel movement.
    • In men, the prostate, which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in towards the front of the body, can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, or object.
    • Also in men, the lower end of the penis, is near the anal opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.
• PSYCHOLOGICAL:
  • The Anal Taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common message: ”Anal sex is dirty”  could generate a lot of excitement.
  • People who enjoy rimming may get turned on by the idea of being disgustingly and (to them delightfully) perverted.
  • Others regard the anus as a special place that they share with a partner as an act of openness and giving.

7. It is very possible to have orgasms through Anal Stimulation:

Though not necessarily by itself.  A small percentage of people will orgasm through anal sex alone without other stimulation. For women it is usually connected to their S&M fantasies, while for men it is usually due to the direct stimulation of their prostate. Most people will Orgasm when anal pleasure is combined with direct genital stimulation.  

Making orgasm your goal during anal sex creates pressure that disrupts the pleasure, which in turn makes it almost impossible to actually have an orgasm.  The key is to relax and focus on pleasurable feelings. 

8. Anal sex can be perfectly safe:

The only REAL danger in anal sex are the various STD’s which by now most people are familiar with.  So simply put, in a MONOGAMOUS relationship with two HEALTHY adults, there is almost no risk or danger of any sort, as long as condoms are properly utilized and both partners communicate openly throughout the process.

Much of the information in this post comes from Jack Morin’s book: Anal Pleasure and Health.  It is a very good resource if you would like additional information on the subject.

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Most people are aware of female multiple-orgasms, but did you know that with some practice, men are quite capable of having multiple orgasms??

The concept of a multi-orgasmic male is not a new one.  Chinese philosophers have known about male multiple orgasms thousands of years ago, and yet this sexual secret remains surprisingly unknown:

1. The first step in learning about Male Multiple Orgasms is realizing that ejaculation and orgasm are not one and the same. 
   • In the male sexual cycle there is a tiny time difference between the beginning of orgasm and the beginning of ejaculation.  That time difference is so small that most men assume that the two are impossible to separate. This is a false assumption.
2. Now that you are aware of #1, you should also know that it’s the ejaculation that causes the male erection (and arousal) to subside, not the orgasm. 
   • This means that if you could avoid ejaculation, you could theoretically keep having orgasms indefinitely as you would stay in the heightened state of arousal.
   • Multiple orgasms occur one after another WITHOUT the loss of sexual arousal or erection.

Now here’s the tricky part … How?

The key is your PC Muscle (pubococcygeal muscle).  I spoke about this very important muscle in the previous post, so please read it before continuing here as it is essential to understand the process.

Once you develop strong PC muscles, the rest is just about breathing and practice.

Breathing:

• You need to have full control over your breathing in order to control your orgasm.  
• Focus on long slow breaths through your nose.

Start practicing during masturbation:

• Your goal is to come as close to orgasm as possible without ejaculating.
• Start normally, but as you get closer to orgasm you want to slow down the pace.
• If you are thrusting/rubbing quickly and vigorously, it will be very difficult to control your breathing or stop before it is too late.
• As you get close to the point of orgasm, stop, and squeeze your PC muscle.  Hold it for at least 8 seconds or however long it takes for the point of no return to subside.
  • Repeat this step at least 3 times, bringing yourself closer to orgasm with every repetition.
  • Notice your arousal levels build with each repetition as it becomes more difficult to hold back. 
  • You want to start recognizing these feelings in your body so you could control them.

Now continue masturbating:  this time, keep going until you orgasm.

• At the moment of orgasm you will notice contractions in the base of your penis or inside your pelvis.  These contractions signal the beginning of ejaculation. 
  • In the future your goal is to stop the stimulation and squeeze your PC muscles right before these contractions in order to avoid ejaculation.
  • Your first time practicing it is very unlikely that you will be able to time it accurately so don’t worry.  Just squeeze your PC muscles as soon as you feel the contractions.
• You’ll feel yourself trying to ejaculate, but keep squeezing as this will prevent the ejaculation.
  • Don’t worry if a small amount of semen comes out, as this should not impact your erection or arousal level.
• If successful:
  • You will experience the full orgasm, stop the ejaculation, and leave yourself in the same highly aroused state with a full erection.
  • Start masturbating again immediately after orgasm. 
    • You should be able to  have another orgasm shortly after.
• If you couldn’t stop yourself from ejaculating, don’t worry: 
  • You probably need to work on strengthening your PC muscle. 
    • Refer to my previous article about how to do that.  
  • The other main factor is failing to squeeze the muscle at the proper time.
    • If you start squeezing after the ejaculatory contractions begin, it is almost impossible to stop ejaculation.
    • If you start squeezing too soon, you will not experience orgasm.  This is why I recommend slowing down your pace as you get closer to orgasm.

With practice you’ll get the hang of the timing.

Even if your goal is not to achieve multiple orgasms, this techniques is great for anyone looking to conquer premature ejaculation.  With a small amount of practice, you’ll be able to last longer in bed as it will allow you to significantly delay ejaculation so you could focus on pleasuring your partner. 

Don’t get discouraged if you don’t succeed from the first try.  Work on strengthening your PC muscle and keep practicing.

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This is a follow up to the 5 things you can do RIGHT NOW to

The bad news is that even though you can start doing Kegel’s right now, (much like any other exercise program) you will not see immediate results. 

The good news is that when you do start seeing results, they will blow your mind … and hers  

There’s a lot of misinformation out there, so lets go over the facts.

PC MUSCLE

•  Wikipedia Summary:
  • The “pubococcygeus muscle“, or PC muscle, is a hammock-like muscle, found in both sexes, that stretches from the pubic bone to the tail bone forming the floor of the pelvic cavity and supporting the pelvic organs.
    • The PC muscle begins around the anus and runs up to the urinary sphincter.
  • It controls urine flow, aids urinary control, and contracts during orgasm. 
  • A well-developed PC muscle can enhance sex and orgasm.
  • The PC muscle also allows men to move the penis up and down while the penis is erect.
    • This is in essence a Kegel exercise contraction.
• My clarification:
  • Most people can find this muscle by stopping the flow of urine in mid-stream. 

KEGELS

• Wikipedia Summary:
  • A Kegel exercise, named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, consists of contracting and relaxing the muscles which form part of the pelvic floor (sometimes called the “Kegel muscles”).
  • Kegels are used to strengthen the PC muscle and other muscles.
  • Kegels can help men achieve stronger erections and gain greater control over ejaculation.
    • Kegel exercises may also increase sexual gratification.
    • There are said to be significant benefits for the problem of premature ejaculation from having more muscular control of the pelvis.
  • It is also possible that strengthening the pelvic floor may allow some men to achieve a form of orgasm without allowing ejaculation, and thereby perhaps reach multiple “climaxes” during sexual activity. (Stay tuned for more details about the Male Multiple Orgasm)

Kegels are most frequently performed in sets. Here are several techniques:

• Quick pumps:
  • Do 15 reps of quick pumps, pause for 30 seconds and repeat.
  • Start at 15 and work your way up to 100 reps two times a day.
• Hold and release:
  • Contract the muscle slowly and hold for 5 seconds, release slowly.
  • Work your way to at least 25 reps two times a day.
• Elevator:
  • Slowly contract 1/3 of the way, pause, then 2/3 of the way, pause, then all the way.
  • Do 10 reps two times a day.

The great things is, you can do Kegels almost anywhere!!

• Driving in traffic
• In bed
• Sitting in class
• Sitting at work
• Standing in line at the movies
• Watching a movie
• … you get the idea

Hopefully, just reading the definitions/explanations was enough to convince you of the importance of doing daily Kegels.  If not, I want to reiterate the sexual benefits.

• Stronger, harder, more frequent erections
• Lasting longer in bed (no more premature ejaculation)
• Ability to learn to have multiple orgasms.

All this from literally MINUTES a day.

Be patient when you begin Kegel exercisesm as it may take 4 to 6 weeks to see a substantial difference in performance.

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Women love dirty talk. 

There, I said it… No going back now

But where many men go wrong is forgetting that the same rules that apply to sex, apply to talking dirty in bed.

Follow this guideline and you won’t go wrong again:

The first thing to remember, as mentioned in previous posts, is that women don’t get turned on as quickly as men.  I’ve used this example before, but it is worth repeating: 

A man’s sexual needs are like a light switch that can be flicked on or off in an instant. A woman is more like a tea kettle that you have to keep heating before it comes to a full boil.

The reason this is important is because one of the most common mistakes men make is XXX dirty talk, before their woman has reached that “boiling point“.

So, rule #1:  Your dirty talk should always be in proportion to her level of sexual arousal (NOT YOURS), error on the soft-core side if you aren’t sure.

Now that we got that out of the way, lets start from the beginning.

Initiating sex talk, pillow talk, dirty talk, or whatever you would like to call it is a challenge for many men because they over-analyze it.  The key is to follow her level of arousal. 

For example, if you are out having dinner, it is fairly unlikely that her arousal levels are very high.  If you were to tell her that you’ve been thinking about her all day (Assuming you’re in a long term relationship) and can’t wait to do naughty things to her when you get back home.   This is a great, simple way to get the ball rolling.  On the way to the car after dinner, her mind is already thinking dirty things, so you might want to give her more things to think about by telling her how/where you want to kiss her (but keep it pg-13).  You want to progress slowly, and mix in actual touching/teasing/kissing etc.

Rule #2:  The progression should always be natural.

If, instead, on the way to the car you were to tell her something XXX, it would have the opposite effect.  Instead of heightening her arousal, it would in the best case scenario do nothing for her, and worst case she would look at you like some sort of freak :-P

Rule #3 – Not all dirty talk is … dirty.  In fact, there is a very thin line between romantic talk and dirty talk so it is easy to flow one into the other.

Especially as you first start doing it.  Many men don’t realize that when you verbally illustrate to your partner how you want to kiss her neck right now, it is much more erotic for most women than you telling her how much you want to be having sex with her right now.  Don’t worry there will be plenty of time for the XXX stuff.

Now lets fast forward to the next big challenge many men have. 

You’re in bed, she’s aroused, you want to get the dirty talk started but you’re just not sure how to start without sounding like a weirdo. 

Once again, utilize rules 2.  The best way to start is something that flows naturally, i.e. if you’re fingering her, start telling her how wet she is and how much it’s turning you on.  If you’re trying to build up to some real hardcore dirty talk, you will need to increase the intensity of her arousal (passion).  This should be easy to do at this point as she’s already aroused.  You should simply intensify your action … kiss her more passionately, get a little rough … basically you can take it whichever direction you would like to go, because once things get hot and heavy… almost anything goes . 

Just like my last post, I recommend you take 10-20 minutes to check out some erotic stories online as they will give you a lot of great ideas.  Always follow these 3 basic rules and you’ll never go wrong.

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What if I told you that you could do ONE THING in 30 minutes or less that would add a new spark to your sex life? 

I’m talking about Hot, Spicy, Steamy, Sex with your partner TONIGHT and many nights to come.

Interested? 

I thought you might be    Here’s How:

It’s a well known fact that men are visual creatures.  That’s how Playboy, Penthouse, and other adult magazines/websites have been able to create massive empires.  But is there a female equivalent?  … Is there some way to get your woman’s mind in the gutter as fast as yours when you open up a dirty magazine???

THERE IS!

It’s called EROTICA, or erotic stories.  This is the female equivalent to a Playboy magazine, and if you’re not using this powerful tool, you’re missing out.

Every woman is different, but in my research well over 95% will get highly aroused by soft-core erotica, and over 75% love the hard-core stuff.  Hopefully you know your partner well enough to know what she likes, but if you don’t … error on the light side your first couple of times.

So now that you know, what should you do?

Write her a story.

Sure you can rip off a story from the internet, or from numerous novels (online, library, book store)… but unless you are an absolutely horrible writer, nothing will turn your woman on as much as a story that you write to her, for her.

Before you write the story, I do recommend you spend a little time doing some research online on any one of the numerous erotica sites.  I promise you will enjoy researching

Guidelines and tips for good erotic story writing:

• The story should be about her.
• Your first story should not include anything XXX
  • It should be all about the buildup to the XXX
  • Possibly ending right before XXX begins (leaving it to her imagination).
• Be creative – This is the time to think about HER fantasy (not yours)
• The more descriptive words you use, the better. 
  • Women, don’t get as turned on by the action as by the the description of the action.
  • (think romance novels).
• Keep it short – 1 page is more than enough for beginners.
• Focus on elements that lead to foreplay: clothing, the location, thoughts, etc.
• VIVIDLY describe what she’s feeling in your story and she will experience those feelings as she reeds it.  ie.  “your heart starts to race as you wonder what’s going to happen next”. 
  • This is very powerful because you can tell her how turned on she’s getting and she will literally get that turned on.
• VIVIDLY describe any kissing, touching, caressing, foreplay. 
  • (This is the bulk of your story)
• If you’re not sure how to give it to her, send it as an email, subject: here’s something I’ve been fantasizing about   then tell her there’s a surprise in her email.

This should be enough to get you started. Read a few non-XXX erotic stories online and then spend 20-30 min writing your own following the above guidelines… You will be shocked by how powerful this will be.

It’s not your Sex Ed teacher’s fault, they had no idea what they were doing down there either

This is dedicated purely to Oral Sex techniques.  I will discuss fingering technique in future posts. 

If you’re ready, then dive right in:

• Basic Technique:
  1. Get in a comfortable position
     • This is very important because you don’t want to get tired half way through.
  2. Make sure the entire area is properly lubricated with your saliva and her juices.
  3. Give yourself better access by using your fingers to spread her vaginal lips.
  4. Start making soft/gentle/slow strokes using the FLAT part of your tongue NOT THE TIP of your tongue.
     • Your goal here is to expose the MAXIMUM surface area of your tongue to her  vaginal area and clitoris.
     • Think licking an ice cream cone.
     • In the beginning you can vary the stroke size and length.
     • The first few minutes of oral sex is the time to experiment.  You could also (beforehand), give her your palm and ask her to show you what kind of stroke she prefers.
  5. Keep your tongue very relaxed
     • If it feels like “work” you’re applying too much pressure.  It should feel like you’re just teasing her, but that’s exactly the kind of stroke that will give her the ultimate orgasm.
     • The more relaxed you are the longer you’ll be able to do it.
  6. Focus on her entire vaginal area:
     • Don’t just dive in straight for the clit.
     • The entire area is full of pleasure giving nerve endings (which is a big reason for using the flat part of your tongue).
• Pressure & Rhythm:
  • Is Rhythm important? 
    • Rhythm is THE MOST IMPORTANT PART of Oral Sex.  When you first start, you can vary the strokes or rhythm however you want, but as she gets closer to orgasm it is imperative to stick with one consistent stroke and consistent rhythm.
  • How gentle should you be? 
    • At first you should be super gentle, no matter what, but after a minute or so it greatly depends on the girl.  As a general rule…
    • If you’re using oral as an add-on to fingering then you want to apply more tongue pressure, but still stick with a constant rhythm.
    • If you’re just giving oral sex on it’s own then you want to stick with light/gentle strokes and a steady rhythm ALL THE WAY THROUGH.
• Tongue Technique:
  • Many people have heard of the Alphabet technique:  Writing out letters with the tip of your tongue on and around her clit.  However, the key to this technique, is the pressure you apply. The alphabet should be done with extremely light/gentle pressure for maximum effect.
  • Depending on how sensitive her clit is, some women love to have you suck their clit into your mouth and swirl your tongue around it.
  • No one ever said that oral sex was only about your tongue, so switch it up a little by using your lips and fingers to maximize her pleasure.
  • Some research shows that the left side of her clitoris has more nerve endings, so why not do some scientific research of your own   Just don’t neglect the right side. 
• Fingers:
  • Use your fingers to give you better access to her clit by pulling it away from her clitoral hood: 
    1. Place your thumb an inch to the left of her clit and your pointer finger an inch to the right of her clit (forming an upside down U with your hand) , and gently pull up.  It helps if your fingers are NOT lubricated as they will not be making contact with her sensitive areas.
    2. Use the forefinger and middle finger to make a V shape, make sure they are properly lubricated with saliva and her juices.  Place the fingers together about an inch bellow her clit then spread them apart and gently push them up-words.
    3. Ask her to use her own hand to spread her vaginal lips and pull them up-words for your convenience.
• Extras – Depending on what she likes:
  • Spend some time playing with her breasts & nipples as you tease her clit with your tongue.
  • Grab her ass and squeeze as hard as she likes  
  • Fingering is encouraged, and will bring her to orgasm faster, but the orgasm will feel different than with just oral.
• Approaching Orgasm:
  • Stick to whatever rhythm is working!  This is not the time to switch strokes or even apply more pressure.  If she’s begging for more pressure, just add a small amount because adding more will take away from the power of her orgasm.
  • Don’t stop until she tells you to!  Women’s orgasms could last anywhere from 30 seconds to several minutes (some claim to have half-an-hour orgasms) so don’t stop licking at the same rhythm as it will give her waves and waves of extra pleasure.

Remember, practice makes perfect, so do your homework!!!

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A man’s sexual needs are similar to a light switch, both on and off … while a woman tends to be more like a tea kettle; even if it gets warm quickly, you need to keep the fire going until you bring it to a full boil .   This is why you always want to take your time with plenty of touching, kissing, and teasing. 

Here are some places that are sure to get her burning hot:

• Hair 
  • Most women love it it when you run your fingers through their hair and most men don’t play with her hair nearly as much as she would like. Just make sure to not do it at the beginning of any date, wait until you’re back home so she won’t be worried about fixing it).
  • Hair pulling sends a very strong subconscious (and often conscious) sexual message.  You have to practice to figure out how much is too much as every woman is different, but you definitely don’t want to skip this powerful tool.
• Face
  • Gently stroking her face as you gaze into her eyes is an unbelievable intimacy builder and will more than likely start getting her quite aroused if you start describing how much pleasure you’re going to give her tonight.
• Neck
  • 95% of all women LOVE to have their neck kissed and caressed by the man they care about.  
  • A simple technique is to pay attention to the way she kisses your neck and copy her, this will drive her wild.
  • As a general rule when you kiss her neck, you want to be slow and gentle at first, not leaving any spot untouched.  Then as the passion builds, just go with it (just make sure that you’re going with her passion, not just yours) 
  • Breathing on it, Licking, and nibbling are all allowed!  Do not underestimate the sexiness of a firm (but soft) bite in the heat of passion.
• Ears
  • For 75% of all women the ears are an incredible hot spot.  For 20% it does nothing… and 5% actually hate having their ears kissed.  How will you know?  There’s only one way to find out, and as long as you do it slowly and gently, you will know instantly which category she falls into.
  • If she’s in the 75%, take advantage of every opportunity to tease her sensitive spots.  Keep her in suspense, so that every time you lean in to whisper something she won’t know if she will hear something sweet/sexy, or be turned on by your lips & tongue.  There’s also no reason not to do both   Always focus on the outside of the ear and the ear lobe, not the ear canal, as you gently lick and tease it (like you would with oral sex).
• Back
  • This is a part that many men completely ignore, but is full of very sensitive nerve endings that bring her tremendous pleasure.
  • Try focusing on her spine - trace it with your fingers first, starting from her ass slowly up to her neck, then continue with soft, gentle kisses along the same route.  Follow that up with your tongue, flicking it back and forth.  This is a sneaky technique to turn a back-rub into foreplay.
• Stomach
  • This is a HUGE hot-spot.  If you’ve been neglecting it, shame, shame, shame on you  
  • First, you should leave no spot uncovered with your touches, kisses, & licks.
  • Next time try something different:  slowly and gently kiss and lick her stomach across her underwear line (maybe a half an inch bellow).  Start in the middle and slowly work your way to the side (her hip bone) linger there as long as she lets you with some more passionate kissing and then start to make your way back to the other side.  This will drive her crazy.  (You can vary this by using your breath and the tip of your tongue in the same fashion)
  • *Secret* Place your hand above her pubic mound (bellow her belly button) as she approaches orgasm and watch her pleasure double.
• Breasts
  • Don’t manhandle them! – Especially if she’s close to having her period, her breast could get very tender and very sensitive to the touch.
  • It is very ironic that even though this is one of the most fantasized female body parts for most men, when we’re actually given the chance we fall short of maximizing on all of it’s erotic potential.
  • Next time you’re in the area, try something different: spend some time, touching, teasing, licking, and kissing all around her nipples without actually touching them.  Watch her body language start to change after as little as 15 -30 seconds… but don’t give in, tease her till your heart’s content (that’s part of the fun!).
  • Another great technique is to kiss and lick up her stomach all around her breasts without actually touching them or while your hands are gently teasing her nipples.
• Hands
  • With so many thousands of nerve endings on her palms, it’s no wonder that all of the Casanovas throughout history would first kiss the ladies hand.
  • Why not give her a hand massage next time you’re relaxing in front of the TV… you might be surprised about what it leads to
  • Another trick is to follow up the kissing of her palm with light strokes from your tongue (similar to oral sex) this drives some women crazy.  (another great place for this technique is the fleshy area between her finger and thumb)
  • Then try gentle sucking on the very tips of her fingers followed by some light nibbling. By this time she’ll be begging for your mouth in other places
• Feet
  • Some women are very anti-feet, so you might have to forgo this section, or try to start slow while taking a bath together.
  • For the other 80% of women touching their feels fantastic (especially if they spent the day in heels).
  • You should start with a simple foot-rub, helping her forget the daily stress, but you can quickly turn it into foreplay with the smallest amount of kissing.
  • Her toes are incredibly sensitive and some women get tremendous pleasure from having them sucked.

Have Fun Experimenting!

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You remember that song “All you need is Love” ???

What if I was to tell you that there is a good chance that Love might actually be hurting you in the bedroom? 

Don’t believe it?  Well read on and I’ll show you how: 

It’s no secret that there is nothing like REAL PASSION to make for an amazing night of sex.  Remember your first few sexual experiences when neither of you knew what you were doing, but you couldn’t keep your hands off each other?  Still makes you tingle just thinking about it.

So lets fast forward a little bit for all the couples out there.  You meet a great person.  You click.  Everything is great, the sex … AMAZING.  Remember how you used to just throw her on the bed and ravish her?

Then your relationship moved forward, you become more in-tune with each other (more relaxed).  The “honey-moon” period is gone now and you realize that it’s love knocking on your door at last. 

What happens then? – For many relationships, the passion seems to slowly wither. 

Instead of throwing her down on the kitchen table and ravishing her, you start saying things like, “I’m sorry honey, did you just hit your elbow? Did you bump your head? Are you OK? “ 

I’ve done it.  I would wager you’ve done it.  We ALL do it. 

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ask if you think you might have done some serious damage… I’m saying that men (and women) become OVER attentive (over loving) in the bedroom, leading to the demise of passion.   Think about it, if you were in the throws of passion, would you even notice some small inconvenience??

The definition of sexual passion is being THERE, in the moment, COMPLETELY.

I read somewhere that when it comes to sex and passion there is a gigantic difference between being 99% there (in the moment) with your partner and 100% there.  Its a profound statement.

And no, I’m not Anti-Love. You should make a lot of time for (soft, gentle) romantic kissing/touching/sex… It just shouldn’t be the only thing on the menu. 

Now that you’re aware of the issue, there’s no reason to let love ruin your sex life!

The solution is simply awareness.  If you catch yourself being over attentive, or over loving at the wrong time, simply realize what you’re doing and stop.  Even if it takes a bit of practice, it’s well worth the conscious effort.

Relationships take work, and so does great sex!

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about vitamins, minerals, herbs, and natural supplements.  My personal opinion is that eating a healthy balanced diet is the best and only way to get proper nutrition because there is very little scientific proof that consuming vitamins from pills has any effect on the human body.  Most everything you hear about vitamins is simply marketing.  That being said, here is a combined summary of the various information on vitamins, minerals, herbs and natural supplements that are supposed to increase sexual performance:

ALWAYS consult your doctor and/or nutritionist before taking any supplements or herbs!

• VITAMINS:
  • C, E, A – General body health
  • B-Stress Complex provides energy.
  • B-12 provides energy.
• Colloidal Minerals & Zinc: for general health and immunity.
• BEE POLLEN: Is supposedly one of the best supplements you can take.
  • Bee Pollen is rich in vitamins, minerals, enzymes, and amino acids,  which you need to maintain good health.  BP is supposed to give you more sexual energy and more frequent erections.
  • Bee Pollen is available in tablets, capsules, and the freeze-dried (or raw form).
    • The raw form is found in the refrigerated section of your local health food store and is supposed to offer the greatest benefit.
  • WARNING: Start out with small quantities of Bee Pollen and SLOWLY build up to a teaspoon full, otherwise you might experience adverse effects.  Also, DO NOT take this or any other bee product if you are ALLERGIC TO BEES OR BEE PRODUCTS.
• HERBS:
  • Avina Sativa (Wild Oats): Supposed to increase sex drive, volume of ejaculate and staying power.
  • Catuba: Supposed to increase sexual performance.
  • Damiana: Supposed to increase sex drive and ejaculatory control.
  • Epimedium: Also known as “horny goat weed” considered an aphrodisiac.
  • Muira Puama Extract: Supposed to increase sex drive and produce harder and more frequent erections.
  • Saw Palmetto Berries Extract: Supposed to be good for prostate health.
  • Schizandra: Supposed to increase the volume of sexual fluids, increase sexual endurance and staying power.
  • Tribulus Terrestris: Has been used to increase testosterone production. Supposed to increase energy, stamina and sex drive.
  • Yohimbe: Reviews of this Herb vary and with extended use have shown some negative side effects.
    • WARNING: Not for people with high blood pressure.
• Herbal Formula: “Honeymooners Tea” – This mixture is supposed to replenish sexual energy.  It consists of: Dendrobium, Schizandra, Licorice root. Simply boil the herbs together and drink the tea. 

ALWAYS consult your doctor and/or nutritionist before taking any supplements or herbs!

Though I have experimented with many supplements, herbs, vitamins and minerals, I have yet to find one that I would recommend in addition to a healthy balanced diet.

Good Luck!