The Secret to Giving Her Mind-Blowing Orgasms!

It has nothing to do with your intercourse technique, how hard you thrust, or  how long you last…

(unless you last less than two minutes, in which case check out my previous post on how to last longer in bed).

Think of her sexual pleasure as being on a scale of -1 to 10.  -1 is where you actually hurt her (unintentionally) instead of pleasure her, and 10 is the goal of maximum pleasure. 

When your sole focus is on intercourse, it is literally impossible to give her maximum pleasure because you are working within the limited range of about -1 to 6. The only reason this range goes up to 6 is because some women are just really easy to please 🙂 .  By changing your focus, you can dramatically change the range of her sexual pleasure to 6 – 10.   Here is how:


Yea I know, you were expecting some Ancient Sex Secret, but let me tell you… you just found it.  As I explained in previous posts, the only way to give her those mind blowing orgasms is to pleasure her biggest sex organ, her brain.  If she’s not incredibly turned on, her pleasure will be capped off at 6 and you might even end up going in the negative. 

Why?  The Majority of the -1 to 3 on the pleasure scale happens because of either unfiled finger nails, or poor vaginal lubrication.  When you drag your finger up her unlubricated clit, her pain can be severe.  So then ask yourself, (aside from women that have a medical condition where they don’t self-lubricate) why isn’t she wet?  The answer should be fairly obvious.  She’s not turned on.

I’m not a car guy, but I find that the following example helps many men visualize the situation better.  Women can be simmilar to those old clunker cars that you have to turn on and give time to warm up before you can start shifting gears and driving.  If you were to shift gears and start driving it right away, it would just stall instead of giving you peak performance.

This isn’t some theoretical concept of ROMANCE,  this is PRACTICAL.

If only women came with a user manual 🙂


Foreplay is the process of getting her “warmed up” pun intended, through extended kissing, touching, licking, teasing, and caressing. Sadly this process can’t be taught.  All I can offer you is some guidelines and suggestions. 

The rest is practice.

  1. What are her most sensitive spots?
    • Obviously this varies from woman to woman, but generally speaking, you can turn any spot on her body into a hot button just by giving it the right care and attention with slow teasing touching, kissing, licking.  But for those of you looking for “THE LIST“, here are some tried and true favorites:
      • Anywhere around her neck, her lips, her ears (varies by woman, some absolutely love it, others hate it), her breasts (especially if you kiss, lick around the nipples for a little bit without actually making contact with the nipple), her back, her stomach, anything with a crease such as behind the knee, elbow, wrist, her inner thighs.
      • The list can go on, but if you can stimulate at least 5 of these every time, you’ll be in good shape.
  2. How long should foreplay last?
    • I love this question, because it is seldom answered but it has such an easy answer.  Simple answer is a couple minutes after she starts begging you for sex.  The more complicated answer is as long as you’d like.
  3. Best techniques?
    • Variety.  Lots of kissing. Lots of touching. Lots of Licking. Lots of teasing.  Where and how is up to you, just switch it up so it’s not the same every time. 
    • Be GENTLE! – The only big secret here that most men fail to realize is that softer (touch, kiss, tease) is always better.  Sure … there are going to be times when gentleness goes out the window, but as a general rule, the gentler you are when you touch, kiss, lick, caress her sensitive areas the more aroused she will become and the more she will crave you.
  4. How do I use foreplay to move up the pleasure scale from “-1-6” to “6-10”?
    • Stay away from her clit and G-spot! – Try this and see some amazing results.  (After a few minutes of kissing and touching) GENTLY kiss, lick, and touch all the areas around her vagina and then proceed to the inner vaginal lips and surrounding areas, but do not touch her clit.  Keep touching and just watch for her reaction.  Once she starts begging you to put it inside of her, start to slowly and gently lick her clit with long slow feather-light licks and watch her entire body start to quiver.  By this point she would be dripping wet, and you would have to do something really extreme to mess things up and bring her pleasure level bellow 6.  This is also the perfect set up to help her learn how to have multiple-orgasms. (More on this in future posts)

And remember, you should never wait till you get home and in bed before starting foreplay.  To give her the ultimate orgasms, foreplay should begin long before sex to allow her sexual desires to build all through the evening.  Next time you’re standing in line at the movies pull her in close in the standing spoon position (her back to your front) and put your hands on her tummy.  This has a great psychological effect on her most sensitive sexual organ 🙂  Then as you’re standing there, gently move your hands a little lower (not too low, where it would look blatantly inappropriate) and run your fingers over that sensitive area of her underwear line, as if you’re not even thinking about it… this in itself could be enough to get her mind on sex throughout the entire movie.  Then if the line is long, start to nibble a little on her neck or ears while you wait.  You can be sure there will be some steamy fun when you make it home …

 IF you make it home 😉

Have fun! And as always, I welcome all comments and questions.



Filed under Sex

5 responses to “The Secret to Giving Her Mind-Blowing Orgasms!

  1. mashka-kakashka

    hurray excellent post

  2. sexphd

    Mashka – Thank you 🙂

    Air – No, I’m not.

  3. r-o-man

    sexphd – care to elaborate? 🙂 jk

  4. hi just got done Reading your post great read really do appreciate it.jus one question it would be great if you can answer before the weekend.aiight I’m 18 black male living in London basically I jus got into a relation ship and before the relationship ive been celibate for 9 months so u can guess my sex drive Is a little low my partner n I haven’t had sex but she has a really high sex drive and am not sure I can match it i was wondering my can i do to get a higher sex drive and what can i do to get turned on for longer rather than being turned on for a little while is there something I can do?

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