Women love dirty talk.
There, I said it… No going back now 🙂
But where many men go wrong is forgetting that the same rules that apply to sex, apply to talking dirty in bed.
Follow this guideline and you won’t go wrong again:
The first thing to remember, as mentioned in previous posts, is that women don’t get turned on as quickly as men. I’ve used this example before, but it is worth repeating:
A man’s sexual needs are like a light switch that can be flicked on or off in an instant. A woman is more like a tea kettle that you have to keep heating before it comes to a full boil.
The reason this is important is because one of the most common mistakes men make is XXX dirty talk, before their woman has reached that “boiling point“.
So, rule #1: Your dirty talk should always be in proportion to her level of sexual arousal (NOT YOURS), error on the soft-core side if you aren’t sure.
Now that we got that out of the way, lets start from the beginning.
Initiating sex talk, pillow talk, dirty talk, or whatever you would like to call it is a challenge for many men because they over-analyze it. The key is to follow her level of arousal.
For example, if you are out having dinner, it is fairly unlikely that her arousal levels are very high. If you were to tell her that you’ve been thinking about her all day (Assuming you’re in a long term relationship) and can’t wait to do naughty things to her when you get back home. This is a great, simple way to get the ball rolling. On the way to the car after dinner, her mind is already thinking dirty things, so you might want to give her more things to think about by telling her how/where you want to kiss her (but keep it pg-13). You want to progress slowly, and mix in actual touching/teasing/kissing etc.
Rule #2: The progression should always be natural.
If, instead, on the way to the car you were to tell her something XXX, it would have the opposite effect. Instead of heightening her arousal, it would in the best case scenario do nothing for her, and worst case she would look at you like some sort of freak 😛
Rule #3 – Not all dirty talk is … dirty. In fact, there is a very thin line between romantic talk and dirty talk so it is easy to flow one into the other.
Especially as you first start doing it. Many men don’t realize that when you verbally illustrate to your partner how you want to kiss her neck right now, it is much more erotic for most women than you telling her how much you want to be having sex with her right now. Don’t worry there will be plenty of time for the XXX stuff.
Now lets fast forward to the next big challenge many men have.
You’re in bed, she’s aroused, you want to get the dirty talk started but you’re just not sure how to start without sounding like a weirdo.
Once again, utilize rules 2. The best way to start is something that flows naturally, i.e. if you’re fingering her, start telling her how wet she is and how much it’s turning you on. If you’re trying to build up to some real hardcore dirty talk, you will need to increase the intensity of her arousal (passion). This should be easy to do at this point as she’s already aroused. You should simply intensify your action … kiss her more passionately, get a little rough … basically you can take it whichever direction you would like to go, because once things get hot and heavy… almost anything goes 😉 .
Just like my last post, I recommend you take 10-20 minutes to check out some erotic stories online as they will give you a lot of great ideas. Always follow these 3 basic rules and you’ll never go wrong.