Anal Sex TABOO – (8 Things Most People STILL Don’t Realize!)

I don’t know if there’s ever been anything more taboo in mainstream America than Anal Sex…  Yet In a survey of 100,000 Playboy readers, 47% of men and 61% of women admitted to having tried anal sex.

Though they can admit it anonymously, most people don’t feel comfortable talking about it to others, let alone educating themselves to maximize sexual pleasure.

Here are eight things people still don’t realize about anal sex:

1. Actual intercourse is the least common form of Anal sex.

The most common form of anal sex is touching.  Many people will touch their anal opening while masturbating,  or stimulate their partner’s during vaginal or oral sex.
Some enjoy the sensation of a finger,  others prefer a dildo or vibrator.  Performing oral sex on the anal opening is referred to as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people, but for others it is a huge turn on.

2. Anal sex differs greatly from Vaginal sex:

Many people assume that intercourse in the vagina and rectum are similar activities, but even though both have soft tissue lining; they are very different. 

  • First and VERY IMPORTANTLY the rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina,
    • So Anal Sex ALWAYS requires lubricant.
    • Stick to water-based lubricants because they are compatible with latex.
  • Also, Unlike the Vagina, the rectum is not straight.
    • After the short anal canal at first, the rectum tilts a few inches toward the front of the body before curving back. 
    • After a few more inches, it tilts toward the front of the body again.  
    • You can learn about the shape of your rectum by gently inserting a soft object (with a flared base), and trying different angles & positions as you concentrate on how it feels.

3. Anal stimulation is not painful when done properly:

With such a high concentration of nerve endings it’s no wonder that it can produce so much pain when done improperly, but it also shouldn’t surprise you that it is capable of producing a correlating amount of pleasure. 

When a finger, object, or penis is introduced inside the anus, the anal muscles go into a spasm as they try to fight off the intruder. Pain results if the partner doesn’t wait for the muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress the muscles will eventually collapse and the pain will subside, but this will not bring any pleasure to the passive partner.

In order to maximize anal pleasure, you need to eliminate all pain from the anal experience.  The passive partner shouldn’t be afraid to say,  “no”, until they are ready to keep going. This readiness is a combination of physical relaxation, lots of anal touching, and desire.

4. Even if its always been uncomfortable in the past, you can still enjoy anal sex:

Just like, “really wanting to try it” doesn’t mean you’re going to have a good experience, if you had bad experiences in the past, it doesn’t meant that you can’t enjoy anal sex! 

The most common reason for discomfort during anal sex is anal tension.

Constipation and hemorrhoids are a typical sign of this condition, but are not the only indicators. You can decrease this tension by touching the anus (perhaps while taking a bath) in order to familiarize yourself with the sensations. 

  • Tensing and letting go is a good way of learning to relax the muscle.  
  • Deep breathing also affects anal muscles.

Most people will probably enjoy some form of anal stimulation.  For many women the turning point in anal sex is when they let their partner touch their anus agreeing not to attempt anal sex. This way she can concentrate completely on her pleasure.

5. There are actually two independent muscle rings surrounding the anal opening.

People who have never experimented think that there is only one, but If you insert a finger about a half an inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you will feel the two distinct muscles less than a quarter inch apart.

  • The external muscle is controlled completely by you, meaning that you can tense and relax it however you want.
  • The internal muscle, similar to breathing, is controlled by the involuntary part of the nervous system.
    • It responds directly to fear or anxiety during anal sex. It causes the anus to tense up automatically even if you try to relax.
    • Even if you feel comfortable, it’s still important to learn voluntary control over the internal muscle in order to relax it at will.
      • To do so, simply insert a finger daily (perhaps in the shower) and feel the internal muscle. 
        • It will change spontaneously in response to behavior.
      • Just noticing the sensation is more important than trying to relax… with time anyone can learn to control this muscle.

6. There are different kinds of pleasure that come from Anal Stimulation:

    • The anal opening has a very high concentration of nerve endings. A finger is a very effective tool to maximize their pleasure.
    • Beyond the anal opening (inside the rectum):
      • The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has some nerve endings.
      • The inner portion responds mostly to pressure. Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not signal impending bowel movement.
      • In men, the prostate, which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in towards the front of the body, can be a source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, or object.
      • Also in men, the lower end of the penis, is near the anal opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.
    • The Anal Taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most common message: “Anal sex is dirty”  could generate a lot of excitement.
    • People who enjoy rimming may get turned on by the idea of being disgustingly and (to them delightfully) perverted.
    • Others regard the anus as a special place that they share with a partner as an act of openness and giving.

7. It is very possible to have orgasms through Anal Stimulation:

Though not necessarily by itself.  A small percentage of people will orgasm through anal sex alone without other stimulation. For women it is usually connected to their S&M fantasies, while for men it is usually due to the direct stimulation of their prostate. Most people will Orgasm when anal pleasure is combined with direct genital stimulation.  

Making orgasm your goal during anal sex creates pressure that disrupts the pleasure, which in turn makes it almost impossible to actually have an orgasm.  The key is to relax and focus on pleasurable feelings. 

8. Anal sex can be perfectly safe:

The only REAL danger in anal sex are the various STD’s which by now most people are familiar with.  So simply put, in a MONOGAMOUS relationship with two HEALTHY adults, there is almost no risk or danger of any sort, as long as condoms are properly utilized and both partners communicate openly throughout the process.


Much of the information in this post comes from Jack Morin’s book: Anal Pleasure and Health.  It is a very good resource if you would like additional information on the subject.

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2 responses to “Anal Sex TABOO – (8 Things Most People STILL Don’t Realize!)

  1. Thank you, it was interesting. Have more to such intelligent people.

  2. Elaine Bradley

    I am an 18-year-old freshman in college, and like most girls my age, I first tried anal sex when I was a high school student, gaining experience with anal sex before going to college. When I was 13, I decided to try anal sex because, as my boyfriend pointed out, anal sex maximizes pleasure and intensity more than vaginal sex, plus there is zero risk of pregnancy. What I discovered at age 13 is that anal sex provides maximum pleasure, intensity, and satisfaction. As a girl, I learned that if I stay calm, stay relaxed, stay obedient, and stay submissive during an anal-sex session, I can trust my boyfriend completely to carefully maximize the depth, speed, and intensity of anal thrusting in order to maximize pleasure, maximize mutual intimacy, and to build up stamina and endurance so that, with daily practice, a girl can learn to sustain non-stop anal sex for 30 minutes as a beginner, 60 minutes as a novice, and 90 minutes as an adequately experienced high school girlfriend. More and more girls want to gain experience in high school with 90-minute anal-sex sessions so that when they finally begin college, the girls will be ready for the 120-minute anal-sex sessions that are routinely expected at the age of 18 or 19.

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